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Where is your phone on your desk?

Mine used to sit on the right because I am right handed, making it easy for me to answer the phone with my right hand, which seemed perfectly rational and was completely instinctive. Of course, when I need to make a note, I waste a few seconds shifting the phone to my other hand so that I could reach for a pencil.

A few weeks ago someone pointed out this seemingly innocuous waste of time. It seems innocuous because it is just a few seconds, but it disrupts the flow of the conversation and potentially derails the speaker’s train of thought. Of course, if it’s just a phone number, that’s no big deal. If they’re wanting you to copy down some thoughts, though, those few seconds become a major disruption.

The answer? Move your phone to your off-hand. If your right handed, move it to the left side of your desk. If your left handed, move it to the right side of your desk. You’ll find reaching for that pencil or keyboard is much easier.

Another phone tip: get a hands free headset so you can talk and write (or type) at the same time with ease while still keeping the conversation private–as opposed to a speaker phone, which also frees up your hands, but blasts the phone conversation for all to hear.

I know some of you are thinking “well, duh!” to both of these tips. What can I say? I’m a slow leaner.

I’m looking for mentors. You should be looking, too. Mentors will provide knowledge and wisdom that I would otherwise have to learn the proverbial hard way.

I met two people this past week that I want on my team of mentors and already they are opening doors for me. All I did was ask them out to lunch and they agreed. I was surprised how easy it was. I was even more surprised at how willing they were to help someone that they had just met.

Making these first two connections has gotten me thinking about the types of mentors I want–the types of mentors I can learn the most from. And I think I’ve come up with the three types mentors I want on my team:

* Someone who has been highly successful at building several companies and who has made a lot of great connections along the way. Someone who can open doors for me and impart wisdom on how to build my own connections.

* Someone who is in a position I’d like to be in 5, 10, or 15 years. Someone who is willing to guide me on my career path and help me identify my strengths and weaknesses.

* A successful sales person. We’re all selling something even if we’re not in sales. This person will have a great deal of knowledge on how to immediately connect with people and how to move that connection into a closed deal that benefits you and them.

I’m certainly open to having folks with different backgrounds be on my team of mentors, but with at least one of each of the above types of mentors in my court, I believe I would have a great mix of learning opportunities open to me.

With all the help that I’m getting–or hoping to get, I have to wonder: what are my responsibilities as a mentee? I’ll have to think on that.

Okay. Wow. This is surprisingly serendipitous. I’ve been thinking a lot about how I can be more present in the present. Particularly, how I can accept my emotions at face value, and how I can give voice to my emotions in a constructive way.

I don’t have these answers, yet. But I found this inspiring story about a man with Alzheimer’s who unwittingly offers insight on how to accept your emotions–and the experience that caused them–at face value.

My take away: let your emotions flow. Name them if you have to. Don’t ask “What am I feeling?” Just feel. Identify those feelings. Once you’ve given name to your emotions, you have taken a step toward owning them. Then, once owned, give them voice.

Thanks, Johnnie for the link.

After reading Steve’s great series of posts on building self discipline, I got to thinking more about the Covey+GTD+NEA combinations that I’ve been exploring.

I’ve come to realize the self discipline is the key to being successful in any of these systems–it’s the basis for all of the core life skills. Without it, you don’t stand a chance at being successful. If, as Covey says, we should put first things first, then building self discipline is where we start. Not with personal productivity–though, you might very well use a personal productivity system to help you exercise your self discipline; the initial goal, though, is not to improve your productivity, rather it is to improve your self discipline–productivity gains will be a nice side effect. At least in the beginning.

The more I thought about self discipline as a basis for all other life skills, the more I realized that I needed to doodle. This is what I came up with:

Now, it’s only a draft and it’s certainly not pretty, but it covers what I currently consider the core life skills.

Self discipline is the base. We all have some modicum of self discipline, but how much or how little we possess determines how successful we are at the other life skills.

At the second tier, we have a little ecosystem:

* *Energy Management* includes that misnomer time management. We really only manage our energy and how productive we are with what little time and energy we have over the course of our life. This also includes diet–after all, how we generate our energy is as important as how we spend our energy.

* *Interpersonal Skills* determine how well we relate to different people in different situations. They include verbal, written, and listening communication skills. It also includes general etiquette as well as the ability to carry on small talk or a meaningful conversation as well as the ability to determine which type of conversation is most appropriate.

* *Analysis* is the ability to assimilate new information, so it includes learning and logic skills.

* *Creativity* is the application of our analysis.

All told, the four skills at this level feed on each other. An example: If you eat a healthy breakfast, you increase your energy and ability to focus throughout the morning. This increased focus allows you to better analyze the code your writing; through this analysis, you determine that you can re-use some code and it will save you a bit of time. This allows you to meet your deadline, earning you trust from your boss. You increase you energy, you become more creative, which in turn allows you to build better relationships with those around you.

At the top of the pyramid, you have ambition and this is what begets greatness. This is where you set goals and reach for them. The greater the ambition the farther you reach.

Of course, ambition is nothing without energy management, creativity, analysis, and interpersonal skills and those, in turn, are nothing without self discipline.

Interesting thoughts jostling around in the nutshell I call a brain. Will have to think more about this in the coming weeks, and will definitely keep you posted. (Sorry, but pun intended.)

> Pain or damage don’t end the world. Or despair or fucking beatings. The world ends when you’re dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man and give some back.

> Don’t find fault, find a remedy

Rosa posted a great story yesterday about a bus driver named Kalani. The care he poured into his bus and his children are inspiring. And he reminds us that being passionate about what we do is more important than a lot of the material things we value. How many of these unsung heroes are going un-noticed because we are too busy with our day to stop and say hello? From the security guard, to the sales person, to the CEO. If they are passionate about what they do, then there is something you can learn from them.

I’ve stumbled across some blog posts and articles that just couldn’t wait until the end of the month.

* I really was learning some valuable leadership lessons by all those hours spent watching Star Wars.

* Build relationships one conversation at a time.

* Networking 101. A great introduction to networking. Seth covers all the basics that Keith covered in his book. Thanks Abhishek for the pointer.

* A very interesting article on goalsetting.

Last week was a lot of fun. I made some really great progress and came to some interesting realizations.

First, my realization: productivity, diet, exercise–all of them start with self discipline. If you attempt to improve any one of these without self discipline, you will fail as I often have in the past. So, I’m working to strengthen my self-discipline while at the same time working to improve my productivity, diet, and excercise. So far, it seems to be working. I’ll report back on my continued success in a week. (This realization brought to you by Steve Pavlina.)

Following this new technique, I made some nice head way last week.

**Achievements**

* I made three new contacts.
* I stopped drinking caffeinated drinks on Thursday.
* I’ve been getting up at 6AM since Tuesday.

**My goals for the coming week:**

* Continue getting up at 6AM through next Sunday.
* Not drink a caffenated drink through next Sunday.
* Exercise three times this week.
* Schedule two lunches for next week.

I’ve been at this self improvement game for several months, now. I’ve made some decent head way, and I still have so much to learn. Before I even attempt to learn new things, though, I need to better integrate what I have learned into my daily life. To help me do this, I’m creating a personal accounting system. Starting tomorrow, I’m going to post a personal improvement report every Monday that

* Sets my goals for the coming week
* Reports on my previous week’s goals

I’m going to report it exactly as it happened. Whether I achieved my goals or fell right on my ass, it doesn’t matter. So, prepare yourself, it’s not going to be pretty.